Grateful

I'm grateful for this weekend. I'm grateful for my boys. I'm grateful for the life I have, imperfect and mangled and unrecognizable though it may be compared to a year ago.

The boys and I saw a movie in Central Park on Saturday night. The Central Park Conservancy set up a giant screen near 72nd Street.

The movie was "Spider-Man 3." Not that it mattered. But it was a story of good overcoming evil, and it never hurts to reinforce that message. It was a beautiful evening in the most beautiful park in the world, with the most beautiful boys in the world.

I miss...

I wish...

I think Jen would've enjoyed it.

Today I took the boys to Six Flags.

We hadn't been since last summer. 

We rode several roller coasters, had lunch, then rode a couple more. Ethan and I rode El Toro, the big wooden coaster, which turned out to be our favorite of the day. 

Ethan told me that he feels closer to both me and to Jennifer than he ever felt when he was younger. He said he knows that most teens grow farther apart from their parents, and that it has been the opposite for him. 

I'm grateful for that, and I'm grateful for him saying it. I'm sure there's some benefit to having more undivided attention from each of us.

When Samuel and Ethan and I were eating lunch, I said, "You know, all of these people here...a hundred years from now...they'll all be dead."

They both looked at me weird.

I laughed and said, "Sorry, I'm actually thinking about how life passes quickly and how important it is to celebrate joy. I was looking at that little girl over there, who's laughing and having such a great time. There were amusement parks a hundred years ago, and they were just like this one, filled with men in their hats and women in their long dresses and little girls laughing, and...life passes quickly, that's all. I'm happy to share these moments with you guys. It was a positive thought, not a negative!"

It's the same feeling of life being short that caused her to go. I know that. I do.

We just have to move forward.